Joyful

Last week I watched my mentor hold it together for her husbands memorial. Five organizations provided him with resolutions. The impact he made in his life was surreal. I’m beyond impressed and always have been by all that he did, all that he touched, and how humble he was.

I listened to the many stories that people told. I sat directly behind my mentor with the family and watched how graceful she carried herself despite the pain I know she feels. I watched her attempt to care for others. She shows selflessness daily. The way she took care of him over the last eight years when he fell sick until his last breath will always remind me of what love is.

The eulogy was something I’ve never heard before. The pastor was uplifting and reminded us about our purpose in life. Many will never live out their purpose for many reasons. He juxtaposed our life and purpose to a tailor-made suit. As I took notes, I had one of those Oprah ah-ha moments.

During my stay, I visited a few friends, a couple gave me a moment as they watched Sedinam. That was the longest stretch of time that I’ve been without her. For almost two years now, I’ve been with her basically 24/7. I have no regrets, I love it, but as I’ve mentioned before I am tired.

Being in the city that I became a real adult in reminded me of my growth. Driving around, running errands afforded me time to visit places that I use to frequent. A song came on and nostalgia took me back to that time the song was important in my life.

As I rode in the limo with the family, one of the relatives shared that I had a once 13 ounce baby. The relative she shared this was is a pediatrician. In addition to us connecting through this discussion, his son and I graduated law school the same year. While death is nothing that we want to take lightly, it was at this point that I truly realized in exactly where I’m supposed to be. Despite all of the storms that have entered my life, I’m exactly where I need to be.

Upon arriving home, my dads doctor sent me a message, “how do you feel about putting him on hospice?” We communicated over the last few days about this, I’ve been connected to a hospice company, and I’ve accepted that we have a task in our lifetime; to live out our purpose. While doing this, we have to be reminded to be of joyful character because it’s inevitable that we will have trails and situations that are not ideal.

As I enter a new season of life, I see the blessings that I’ve been afforded. One thing I shared with someone was, at almost 42 years old, I’ve been granted all of my hearts desires. From materialistic items to being able to travel the world to having the most beautiful spirited kids. While I have been fixated on the unfortunate situations of being a single mom to a MicroPremie and deal with the Tom Foolery associated with being harassed and being a survivor of emotional abusive, I have so much more goodness to be thankful for!

Watching my dad yesterday watch Sedi reminds me of just how important it is to appreciate what so many believe are the small things in life… joy is much more important than anything! He tells me to sit in his recliner and relax so he can give me a break. Although he is not capable of this, the fact that he knows I need a break and can even make attempts to think this through is pure joy.

As you continue with your day, your week, the rest of this month, take the time to truly see the joy you have in your life. God has afforded me everything I need at this moment to remind me continue to see the joy!